I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
