i jhust puked up my retainher.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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