So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize