A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
