So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
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