I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
