Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
