What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
