someone get that fucking seahorse.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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