Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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