Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
