In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize