Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
