how can u be prego again
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
