should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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