I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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