Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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