____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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