just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
