Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
