never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize