let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
