Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
