Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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