Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
