No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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