I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
