as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh god it's open bar.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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