flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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