remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
