come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
