Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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