You work out of a Hotel?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I won't apologize to a one balled man
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
