I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
