I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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