How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
