im drinking this country out of the recession.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
