If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize