All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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