i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
