one might say we're banned from that church
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
