my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
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I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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