im drinking this country out of the recession.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
