I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize