there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
