you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
