He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
