She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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