i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
