i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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