The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
