My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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