lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
