i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
