Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
