He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
