Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
