$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize