Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
