forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
