I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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