How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Randomize
